Friday, March 21, 2008

If restaurants ran like operating systems

Windows XP- You enter the nice blue building, you are immediately asked to sign a license agreement detailing your rights to the food and service you are about to receive. As you enter the restaurant a nice waiter takes you to your table. The service started out pretty good, but as time goes along you notice that the waiter keeps getting slower. You also notice that the table comes with only one spoon. If you want the added functionality of a fork or knife you have to pay extra. The food is average. Later, parts of the restaurant just stop responding and have to close. Before you know it you've got to blow up the old restaurant and build a new identical one in its place. You wish you could go to another restaurant but it seems as thought everyone is going here, and you don't want to feel disconnected.

Mac- you enter the simple and sleek restaurant and nice young woman wearing headphones comes to your assistance. You notice that all of the menu items start with the letter 'i' even if it doesn't make any sense. The waitress tells you exactly what you want. It looks great but as you are eating, the food randomly disappears, leaving absolutely no traces that it ever existed. Halfway through your meal you waitress tells you that the building is being upgraded and you need to get out and come back in. You were given no time to save the rest of your food before you were kicked out. You consider switching, but then realize you're too cool for anything but a mac.

Windows Vista- You enter the restaurant noticing the nice paint on the walls, but as you get further in you find that the decoration is making it hard for the restaurant to function properly. When the waiter asks for your order, he ask “are you sure you want to do that” multiple times. It takes ages for them to transfer the food from the tray to your table. While the food looks better than it did in windows XP, you have the same problems. When you take your food out of the restaurant you are unable to open the take-out box, apparently this is some security feature. Your experience at the Windows Vista Restaurant is so horrible that you beg to go back to Windows XP.

Linux- You enter this spacious and beautiful building. Instead of being greeted by one waiter, you meet a group of nice people that explain to you what is going on. You find a community of chefs and customers working together to make the best food. You walk though the buffet finding exactly what you want, and easily waking past those dishes you don't. You enjoy the best food of any restaurant and anything can be modified to meet your tastes if you like. After your meal, you leave the restaurant and try to pay, but people inform you that everything was free. You can't get enough of the Linux Restaurant, but people are won't try it out because its a self serve buffet, and who wants to get out of their chair?

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